An Open Letter to the Entire Male Species Attempting to Meet/Hook-up/Date Women in 2015


I gather it’s been a long time since I’ve been in the dating pool and things have changed drastically in that time frame. I mean, the last time I was actually “dating” I didn’t have punks, cell phones weren’t the norm, social media was non-existent, and guys actually took girls on dates (you know, like out to dinner or to a movie?). But seriously. What in the what has happened since then, guys?

Attempting to date today apparently consists of a few texts and moving right ahead and requesting nude pics. No phone call, no date, no even getting to know each other. Guys are just like, “hey girl, send me a naked pic and I’ll decide whether or not I want to hit it”. Thank God. Do you seriously have any idea how long I’ve been sitting here naked and freezing with my phone in my hand waiting for a request from someone?

As close as your gonna get

Confession. I got on Tinder (after a night out with girlfriends, annnnd a few drinks, and truthfully, it’s a hot mess at best) and I’ve swiped right a couple of times, but a swipe right doesn’t mean I want to rip my clothes off and hop into bed with you. Newsflash! The fact that we’re texting (*gasp* you have my actual phone number!) doesn’t imply this either. This may shock some of you, male population, but not every female values her self-worth on whether a guy thinks she’s do-able.

Heads up – I’m not ashamed of my body (even after bringing three punks into this world) and I’m certainly not a prude, but with that being said, the fact you think I should simply send you naked pictures of myself because you’ve asked is truly mind blowing. There will never come a day that the possibility of a hook-up, date, or relationship will ever hinge on whether a guy finds my body “good enough” because I value myself far more than what some random (or not so random) guy thinks about it.

Something else for you to consider: Maybe I don’t think you’re worthy of me. How did we get to the point where men think they are the ones determining whether or not we’re worthy? It’s absurd that you have the audacity to think you get to call all the shots here. Most women I know aren’t asking men for naked pictures because there damn well better be more to the package than simply a nice body. At the end of the day, your abs won’t make up for the fact you’re an idiot. Honestly, you’re lucky we aren’t looking for perfection because, personally, I’ve yet to meet very many men with a body that resembles anything similar to a Christian Gray.

Let me assure you there is so much more to females than just our bodies. We have brains and ideas and opinions and those are things that shouldn’t be ignored. I promise that those things are far more important when determining who you’re going to hook-up because those attributes will always take a women further in life, and your relationship, than just her naked body.

Here’s the takeaway men – get your shit straight. I don’t know where things changed, and quite frankly I really don’t care, but women deserve more than what so many of you are currently offering us. We deserve decent men who value us for more than our bodies. Learn to treat women with respect and dignity and common courtesy and perhaps you’ll end up with more than some nudes of a woman you’ll never get the chance to bang.


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